By Frank J. Diekmann
Admit it. You miss it. So, with CUNA’s GAC being held virtually this year for the first time ever, for many it will mean missing a long-favorite meeting, not seeing old friends, and not being part of the credit union community and something much bigger than themselves. For all of you who could use a little nostalgia to help fill the void, here you go...
The Way It Always Begins
The unseasonably cold weather….The unseasonably warm weather…An Instagram-worthy approach to DCA along the Potomac and glorious sun-drenched views of Washington’s monuments…A bounce-house approach into a sidewind in which all you’re seeing from that window seat you requested are your own white knuckles and what the inside of a cloud looks like…Seeing your first familiar face at baggage claim and thinking, “What is this person’s name?”…Encountering an Uber driver who is either A) intimately familiar with the city and its quirky traffic patterns, such as the odd left-hand-turns from the right lane, and who also recognizes the hotel/convention center/meeting you need to get to and who even knows a short cut or, B, getting an Uber driver who is unsure if this is Washington, D.C. or Washington State and who, thank God for GPS, would otherwise deliver you to a similar sounding place somewhere near Baltimore… Arriving at your hotel and discovering you’re clearly not the only person attempting to check-in today…Getting closer to the front desk and praying you’ll win the “You’re room is available” lottery…Having your prayers go unanswered and spending a few hours in Man Without a Country territory…Realizing you shouldn’t have hit delete on that email from the hotel explaining online check-in…
Tempted to Steal
Walking/dodging/slipping/trudging over to the convention center through the sunshine/rain/sleet/snow…Suddenly remembering how you had dismissed your spouse’s suggestion before leaving home by saying, “No, I won’t need an umbrella.”…Wondering if it’s really much of a crime in D.C. to steal an umbrella…Being a part of a growing credit union crowd the closer you get to Mt. Vernon Place and the Washington Convention Center…Stepping through the glass doors of the convention center and into its four-story atrium and the billboard-sized GAC banners hanging from the ceiling and feeling some of the early buzz from the biggest meeting in the movement... Walking past the always-present line for coffee as credit unionists put the bucks in Starbucks for the next couple of days…Arriving at registration and seeing the same person you just saw at baggage claim and brainfarting again: “Really, what is this guy’s name?”…
Is Anyone Paying Attention?
Wondering if any of the GAC registrants will realize that message they’ll be hearing during various sessions about e-delivery of services and then dismissing as a decade or more away is actually Right. There. In. Front. Of. Them with the automated check-in and GAC app…Being handed a canvas GAC logo-emblazoned bag that likely doesn’t realize it will have the lifespan of a butterfly, with three-days of glory in a place of honor on 4,000 shoulders before perishing in a hotel room garbage can or, if it lives that long, a drawer full of other never-to-be-seen-again bags at home…Riding onward and upward on the long escalators toward the exhibit hall/general session space as if rising toward some sort of cooperative Heaven…Half-wondering what minimum-wager had the misfortune of affixing those vendor-logo decals to the fronts of the escalator steps and hoping their employer was at least kind enough to shut it off as they did so…Arriving at the top to see the groups of old CU friends on the upper level atrium as they catch up…Seeing long-time friends yourself and subconsciously noticing how old they’re starting to look…Knowing they are looking at you and thinking the same thing…
Standing and Feeling Proud
Taking pride in the patriotic kickoff to GAC and standing to put your hand over your heart for the Pledge of Allegiance…Watching the state flags paraded down the center aisle for the umpteenth time to see which state’s flag-bearers took the time to cleverly represent the place they call home…Listening as CUNA CEO Jim Nussle gives a demo in how to speak extemporaneously…Hearing from members of Congress who know credit unions and their issues…Hearing from members of Congress who have to look to their notes to see who they’re speaking to today…Knowing both types of members are grabbing a PAC check on their way out the door…Watching as people reach for their phones and other devices when any economist from Treasury starts speaking…Coming to realize that with this much hot air, cold weather must come to DC only when Congress is out of session...
Run or Get Runover
Standing aside at the entrance to the exhibit hall for the stampede by some attendees (usually board members) as they elbow each other aside so they can be first to literally sweep their arms across vendors’ tables to grab whatever tchotchke is being given away…Witnessing the can-you-top-this booths from the big box retailer vendors in credit unions that cast their shadows over the mom-and-pop operations and start-ups fighting for attention nearby…Thinking of all the big box retailers outside the trade show that were knocked off by feisty start-ups who did things in new ways and wondering if the trend won’t soon claim as victims the big players in CUs—or even CUs themselves…Coming to the conviction that if the people who work as the no-one-enters-until-it's-officially-time security hawks guarding the box-lunch sandwiches in the exhibit hall also handled security at the U.S. capitol, there would have been no breach on Jan. 6…
Trying to get past a vendor’s salesman by not making eye contact…When eye contact is made, telling the salesman in a nice way your CU isn’t in the market for a new core system…Hearing the salesman tell you they’re putting together a dinner that evening at Smith & Wollensky’s, and suddenly making eye contact and responding by saying that now that you think about it, you’re core is getting pretty old…
The Jaded, the Passionate
Listening to the Pavlovian cheering by the Crashers every time the group’s name is mentioned…Wanting to tell them if you’ve been officially invited and have a name tag and meetings and even a corporate sponsor, you’re not crashing anything…Meeting the jaded person for whom GAC is just another junket and who is wasting the members’ money…Meeting the passionate leader—usually from a small CU—who is on a budget tight enough to be doubled-up in a discount hotel at the end of the Metro line and who is taking copious notes and networking all with a goal of helping their own members—and credit unions…Exiting the convention center and sneaking across the street for a moment to the Apple Store inside the former Carnegie Library because it’s, well, pretty cool…Grabbing a drink in the lobby bar of the Marriott Marquis where all the cool kids hang out…Attending the “Credit Union Prom” that is the Herb Wegner Awards…Listening with all the others in rapt silence as a Wegner winner is honored and you find yourself thinking, “What in the world am I doing with my life?”….Heading to the late-night Thunderpunch party and realizing A) I am too old for this and B) I have to get up in the morning—don’t these people?...
Old Traditions
Hiking the Hill in a tradition nearly as old as the republic itself…Arriving at the Hill to discover that meeting with the “congressman’s office” meant the office staff…And by office staff, they meant the intern...Discovering that whether it’s the congressman or the congressman’s staff or the intern, the price is the same and they are again only too happy to have you drop off a PAC check on your way out the door, thank you very much. Next…Packing up after three or four days that passed by so quickly, and getting nostalgic that you won’t see many of the same people for another year that seems so far away and yet…Taking your seat on the plane for the flight home and seeing that very same person whose name you just can’t remember once again…And they are seated right next to you.
Frank J. Diekmann is Cooperator in Chief of CUToday.info and can be reached at Frank@CUToday.info. Mr. Diekmann is also author of the new book, ‘501 Name Tags: Everything You Need to Know About Business Can be Learned at a Conference & Forgotten in the Trade Show.” For info: www.501nametags.com.