By Frank J. Diekmann
Let me say right up front, I’m 100% onboard with this idea.
Last week during the NCUA board meeting Vice Chairman Kyle Hauptman asked several agency staff members about whether or not conversations between NCUA examiners and credit union executives should be recorded, similar to the way police officers wear bodycams.
That question was posed by Hauptman during a board discussion on prompt corrective action and net worth restoration plans. Perhaps you've heard those subjects can make for tense talks and disagreements between the regulator and the regulated.
Hauptman said he was prompted to ask the question following an exchange with a league CEO who said credit unions had felt “pressured” by examiners on the issue of capital after deposit inflows had reduced their net worth ratios.
When Hauptman followed by asking for examples, he said the league CEO shared that CU execs in his state were “apprehensive” about doing so, fearing reprisals by the agency.
Three Words For You
So why I am so enthusiastic about not just recording these examiner/CU meetings, but also going as far as to have everyone wear bodycams?
Three words: pay per view.
Forget any need for a premium assessment to replenish the equity ratio of the National Credit Union Share Insurance Fund; the revenue opportunities here seem so robust the NCUSIF will be paying out every year like a kid’s birthday party in a woke-parents’ household—everybody is a winner!
Let’s get ready to rum…regulate!
In a world of Netflix and HBO Max, the agency can’t go wrong with a new premium subscription service (but no password sharing!) that offers unlimited views of the exit interviews between examiners and CU management, beginning with the footage from the bodycam of the examiner as the CU exec gets their first look at the exam report. Let the fun (and the pay-per-viewing) begin!
Grab the Remote, Set the DVR
Imagine the viewing options:
- Watch as long-time veteran CEO grinds down teeth as new grad-turned examiner (whose doing the virtual exam from his/her mom’s house) offers their “recommendations and advice” on what the credit union should do. Start a new party game by having everyone guess how long the CEO can continue to carefully hold his/her tongue and parse their words? Sit on the edge of your seat as you try to guess when something—a stapler, the exam report or even the examiner him or herself—goes flying through a window! Forget these virtual exams—these in-person exchanges will keep you watching until the very end!
- Tune in as a long-time, former supervisory examiner-turned-credit union president tries to explain that not everything is in the Exam Manual. Like taking a chance on some members. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. OK, you’ll mostly cry.
- Watch as the manager of a small, rural credit union participates in the exit interview and runs the drive-through and helps a member who just can’t remember their PIN (again) and tries to eat a sandwich. Simultaneously!
- Try to look away as the agency sends four of its largest examiners to hold the CEO down as they explain how involuntary mergers really work.
- And, I’m sorry to say it, given how often it seems to happen, get even closer to your screen as you scrutinize for any tells in the face of an embezzler who’s been caught green-handed as they try to smooth-talk an explanation to an experienced examiner who’s seen it all before.
There are some 5,000 or credit unions in the country, meaning you’d have to watch an average of 13 exit interview episodes every day just to keep up (and if you do, prepare to become a featured episode yourself after you put the “prompt” in “corrective action.”) It’s the never-ending binge, even with 18-month exam cycles!
Even More Revenue!
Don’t always have time to watch? Yet another opportunity for the agency to grab some additional revenue with its new podcast, “Wham! Bam! Exam Bodycams.”
Is the movement really seeking to get Americans to “open your eyes” to a credit union? This oughtta do it. And it won’t be long until we’ve got regulators turned social media influencers and accounting majors/CU execs blowing up on Tik Tok.
Pay-per-view bodycam exit interviews: Remember, you heard it here first.
Frank J. Diekmann is Cooperator in Chief of CUToday.info and can be reached at Frank@CUToday.info. Mr. Diekmann is also author of the new book, ‘501 Name Tags: Everything You Need to Know About Business Can be Learned at a Conference & Forgotten in the Trade Show.” For info: www.501nametags.com.